A Slip of the Tongue
by Opinionated Asmodeus
Summary: Citra will go to any lengths to have her precious ultimate warrior, and due to an offhanded comment Jason's world is unceremoniously flipped on its ass. The words that may haunt Jason for life? "I'd rather fuck Vaas." "That can be arranged, Jason Brody."
1. Wrong Side of Heaven

Jason had a penchant for getting into trouble because of something he'd said before, but this…it went beyond taking the fucking cake. This cleared out an entire goddamn bakery for the shit he suddenly found himself in. All because of a goddamn figure of speech.

 _I'd rather fuck Vaas._

Citra had been eying him like he was a piece of goddamn meat, and he was familiar with the look she'd been giving him. It was the first thing he could think of, because he was still trying to wrap his head around them being related. It was obvious now more than ever.

 _I can arrange that, Jason Brody._

Crazy was apparently genetic, and Citra had it in fucking spades compared to Vaas. She had taken his offhanded remark, which he had meant as he wasn't interested in women period, literally. So what did Citra do?

She used her goddamn magic or whatever the fuck she had control over to turn Jason into a woman. Not the gender transformation that took many painstaking surgeries and lots of hormone injections to achieve, but as if he'd been born one. It was incredibly painful, and had taken six hours for the full switch.

 _Now everyone will get what they want._

He hadn't understood what she had meant by that, but as soon as he was able to, he got the fuck out of there once it was painfully clear that she wasn't going to change him back. She had sent her Rakyat after him, with the order to deliver him to Vaas unharmed.

 _It is permanent, Jason._

Just for that he wanted to kill her. Permanent his ass. She had used magic to change him so she could use it to change him back. He didn't care how much it would hurt, but he wasn't going to spend the rest of his life as a woman. He certainly had no intention of fucking Vaas as one either.

Jason can't fathom why she'd want him to sleep with Vaas like this. The only possible outcome- "Oh my god." No. No no no no no! That bitch was out of her goddamn mind!

"I heard something over here!" A voice calls out in the darkness of the night, sending Jason's heartbeat through the roof while fear snakes through him.

He quickly darts from where he'd been hiding and moves through the unfamiliar terrain. He had abandoned his shoes at the start of this chase since they were now too large for him, and while the same could have been said for his clothes, he wasn't stripping down because they simply didn't fit. He had nothing else to wear.

The jungle quickly gives way to open space and moonlight, a dirt road immediately in front of him. He can hear the engines of cars idling nearby, and he doesn't care if they're Rakyat or Pirates right now. Bolting across the road he takes a quick glance towards the cars and sees red. Beyond the road is a slope, and a river.

The pirates have spotted him, but he's already heading down the slope with the intention to cross the crocodile infested waters. "Boss! Incoming to your left!"

Of all the fucking luck.

Scanning the river's edge as he barrels down the slope, he spots Vaas crouched some feet away from the water some ways off to the right. The pirate lord perks up at the calls from his men and looks dead at Jason. There isn't enough light to see his expression, not that Jason has the time to pause and read it, but he's quick to stand up.

"Rakyat!" And the men Citra had sent after him must have just cleared the jungle, occupying the Pirates on the road above.

Jason heads into the water at full speed while gunfire breaks out on the road, but as soon as he's beyond waist deep it's obvious that his ill fitting clothes are going to make crossing the river harder. Well, he is up to the challenge, and his livelihood certainly depends upon him making it across. He makes it as far as the river's center when something grabs hold of his pants leg. The realization that it is a crocodile hits him when he's dragged under, but the creature hadn't gotten ahold of his actual leg.

Squirming out of his pants is the easiest decision thus far, and he manages to keep his boxers on by some miracle in the process. Breaking the surface while the crocodile is occupied with his former clothing, he orients himself with a quick glance. The bank with the slope is empty, which Jason thinks nothing of, so he continues on for his intended destination. As he reaches the opposite bank it quickly becomes apparent in why the other one had been empty. Vaas had decided to swim across the river too, and is the first one out of the water.

Jason scrambles out of the water and gets a good ten feet away from the water's edge before he's tackled to the ground. Vaas is a heavy weight on his much smaller body, the pirate lord's arms firmly wrapped around his waist. "Let me go!" He squirms and twists in an effort to get free, but Vaas' grip is solid.

"You think I'm gonna do something like that after I chased you across croc infested waters?" The question is surprisingly laced with amusement and Vaas somehow manages to flip Jason over. A hand rests on his hip while Vaas uses the other to support himself, removing part of his weight from Jason. As he is looked over, Jason hopes what little of the damn Tatau he has is hidden by his t-shirt, if it's still there at all. "Haven't seen a pretty little thing like you running around on my island before. Crazy enough to tear through a jungle at night and swim through a river full of crocs too. Where'd you come from, chica?"

That Vaas doesn't recognize him is quite a relief. Still, it doesn't solve his current problem. "None of your damn business." Jason quips in an acerbic tone with a scowl.

"None of my- Listen here, chica. Everything on this fucking island is my goddamn business." Vaas leans down so his face is right in Jason's, his dark eyes narrowed in anger.

Warm breath scented with peppermint, spices and a hint of smoke fans over Jason's face, which is kind of a shocker. Still, he can't dwell on that as escaping Vaas is far more vital at this point than anything else. "Go ask your bitch of a sister then!"

Vaas blinks and looks taken aback at the mention of his sister, but he recovers quickly and presses his forehead against Jason's. "What does my sister have to do with you?" His tone has dropped to something that can only be described as deadly.

Jason really doesn't want to answer Vaas right now, for fear of revealing who he is, and he can't see any way of escaping unless he undertakes drastic measures. He needs to thoroughly distract Vaas. Knowing he's going to regret it, he shifts his head and crushes his mouth against Vaas'. The look of shock Vaas gives him is well worth the fact that he is kissing the man who killed his older brother, but then Vaas starts returning the kiss.

The hand on his hip slides upwards under his shirt and glides over his skin to grab one of the breasts of his unwanted female body. This draws a gasp of shock from Jason, but Vaas apparently interprets it as an invitation to squeeze the mound of flesh and roll the nipple between his thumb and index finger.

Jason has to bite back another gasp while his cheeks flush at how good it feels, and this is starting to spiral out of control much too quickly. He needs to get away before this goes any further.

"Hey, Boss!" A voice calls out from across the river.

Vaas growls at the interruption and Jason thanks his incredibly stupid luck as the pirate lord gets up to address his underling. "What do you want?! I'm busy, you idiot!"

While Vaas is miraculously distracted Jason uses this as an opportunity to scramble up and bolt across the open span of grass to reach another section of jungle. It's only some fifty feet away, and he knows he can make it.

"The girl! The girl is Jason Brody! The Rakyat swear it up and down!"

Jason would have given anything to see Vaas' expression at that precise moment, but he is too busy going ghost to capture the priceless look Vaas might have. He's almost tempted to cackle when expletive-laced Spanish comes from behind him, but he needs to preserve his strength and focus. He doesn't know how fast Vaas is, and given that he's in an unfamiliar body the pirate lord might have an advantage over him. As the gap between him and the jungle rapidly closes a sense of hope fills him. Thirty feet. Twenty. Ten.

It's darker in the thick of the trees but he keeps running for a few minutes until he comes across a climbable tree. Without even hesitating he shimmies up amongst the lower branches and starts climbing higher right as Vaas appears below him. He stops as if he knows Jason isn't running anymore and looks around. "Jason! I know you're here, Jason! Come on out."

Jason keeps climbing until he encounters a branch that creaks ominously when he tries to put his weight onto it. The sound is hardly loud, but when he looks down at Vaas the pirate lord is staring right back at him with a decidedly evil smile. Just great. "Go away, Vaas." He knows it won't work, but he can hope and try.

"It really is you, Jason! God, look at you! This is fucking hilarious!" At least someone found his situation funny. "And you! You kissed me!"

Jason huffs and turns his attention to the surrounding trees. None are viable to jump to, so he carefully works his way around his tree. There aren't any trees anywhere that he can jump to, leaving him with going back down to where the psycho is as his only option. "What are you going to do with me if I come down?"

"If you're trying to negotiate while you're stuck in a goddamn tree with nowhere to go then you are out of fucking luck." There's hardly any bite to Vaas' tone. It's more amused than anything. "Come on down and we'll talk, Jason." As if he has a choice.

Jason stares down at Vaas for a full minute then slowly works his way back down the tree. Once he reaches the lower branches he halts, because if he goes any further he won't be able to escape Vaas, and he sure as hell doesn't want to confess why he'd been turned into this. "What will you do with me if I come down?" He decides to repeat his question, because now is a better time than ever to find out Vaas' intentions.

"I'm not going to kill you, so get your stupid ass down here!" Vaas is definitely irritable and making him madder right now is not in Jason's best interest.

Jason climbs down the few remaining branches then drops to the ground in front of Vaas. Taking a few steps back, until he's against the trunk of the tree, he watches Vaas with a wary expression. "I don't see how me being down here is favorable for me at all."

"For starters I wasn't climbing up that damn tree after you, especially since I followed you across the fucking river." Vaas steps closer to Jason, effectively stripping away any chances he has at escaping again. "And it's favorable for you because I didn't have to hurt you in order to get you down." He moves closer still until he has Jason trapped between the trunk of the tree and his body.

It made it obvious how much Citra's transformation had changed him. Before, he had been taller than Vaas, but now he is at least six inches shorter than the pirate lord. That was a stark height difference. "If you aren't going to kill me, what are you going to do with me? Sell me off to the highest bidder?" His voice cracked slightly on the second question, making him sound almost broken.

"Sell you off? Oh no no no no, Jason. My sister had a reason for doing this to you, and I'm gonna keep you. Hoyt doesn't know about this. He thinks you're dead, along with your girlfriend, and you as a chica don't fucking exist. You are mine, Jason." Vaas leans in, his face dangerously close to Jason's to the point that the American can smell his breath again. Peppermint, spices and smoke. "Now why did she do this, hm?"

Of course Vaas would play right into Citra's hands. She likely even knew that he'd keep Jason instead of killing him while he was like this. Well, there was no point in hiding anything. Brutal honesty was likely the best policy when dealing with Vaas. "I didn't like the way she was looking at me so I said the first thing that came to mind to dissuade any interest she had in me. Apparently she took my remark that I'd rather fuck you as literal instead-" A hand is slapped over his mouth to keep him from saying anything further, at which he narrows his eyes to glare at Vaas.

"Wait. You, Jason Brody, who has a girlfriend, would rather fuck me?" Vaas' expression is one of incredulity now, and he has so missed the point that Jason was trying to make. "You telling me you're hot for dick instead of pussy? Fucking rich white boy from California that's been tearing up my fucking island could have been calmed out by getting his ass tapped?" Maybe not then.

Jason huffs then licks the palm of Vaas' hand in order to get it off of his mouth. It doesn't work, instead making Vaas press his hand over Jason's mouth a little firmer.

"Hey! No getting fresh, Jason. You'll get your turn to speak, chica." Vaas gives him a dangerous smile that is all teeth then looks him over for a second time. "Let's get a better look at you, Jason," he purrs out and grabs hold of the shirt to pull it up away from Jason's body.

Jason doesn't fight it, knows he can't. He can't stop the tears that form in his eyes either as the t-shirt is pulled over his head, Vaas' hand leaving his mouth so the soaked garment can be removed entirely and tossed aside. He reflexively folds his arms over his chest and looks away from Vaas, shivering in the cool darkness of the jungle.

"Oh no you don't, Jason. No hiding from me, chica." Vaas forces his arms away from his breasts and pins them at his sides. They're held there for all of a few seconds and as Vaas eases his grip on Jason's wrists he gives a satisfied hum when they don't move. "Look at me, Jason," Vaas coos softly as he grabs hold of the boxers, Jason's very last shred of dignity and denial.

"Boss?"

"Fucking- What the fuck do you want?!" Vaas thankfully pulls away from Jason and whirls around to chew out his latest interruptor. Jason automatically covers his breasts again even though Vaas is between him and what looks to be a pirate search party. Fuck following his demands.

Curiosity drives the pirate underlings to peer around Vaas at Jason, who astutely glowers back at them. "Is the girl really Jason Brody?"

"Jason Brody is dead," Vaas seethes and shifts to block their attempt to look at Jason. "This chica ain't got no fucking Tatau, or do you think I'd miss an important fucking detail like that?"

Jason is tempted to check his left arm just to verify Vaas' claim, but he's too scared to move at the moment. Right now would be a perfect opportunity to escape, but he's somewhat fatigued and his new body is a bit achy from all the exertion of running, escaping a crocodile and dealing with Vaas. His shivering starts to intensify and he absently begins to rub at his arms to try and chase away some of the chill. "Vaas, I'm cold." And wet and wearing nothing but soaking wet boxers.

"One of you fuckers go grab a goddamn blanket and some dry clothes or something," Vaas snaps at the pirates then turns back to Jason. Without so much as a warning he pulls Jason away from the tree and scoops him up into his arms bridal style. "Need to give you a new name, chica," he states in a low voice so it doesn't carry to the pirates ahead of them as he carries Jason out of the jungle.

"Snow White." It was the only thing that came to mind, and even if it was what the people of the Island were starting to call him it couldn't really be proven that Jason Brody was Snow White. Vaas had claimed him as dead, and it could actually be considered as true. Citra had certainly helped making that rumor fact.

"You sure you want to go with that name, chica?" Vaas questions with an amused tone. "Cause you created quite a bit of trouble and that trouble is attached to that name."

"Nobody will be able to prove anything, and no one else would believe I'd be capable of that shit when I'm like this." Jason really hoped that this wasn't a permanent thing though, like Citra had made it out to be. He certainly had no intention of sleeping with Vaas and getting knocked up either, which is what it seemed like Citra wanted of him. "Speaking of this, Citra said it's permanent. Is she telling the truth? 'Cause I am getting the feeling that she wants you to knock me up."

Vaas falters at that and damn near drops him. "Of fucking course." He stops dead and looks down at Jason, a dark expression twisting his features. "You-"

"Don't you dare suggest I am in on this shit! I tried to fucking run from your crazy ass, so don't you even go there!" Jason hisses and squirms in Vaas' arms, tears pricking at his eyes. "I am not that fucking messed up, you insensitive bastard, and I would never, ever do that to anyone. Not even you. Now put me down!"

Vaas doesn't put Jason down. He tightens his hold on the American and gives a low growl that frightens Jason to his core. "You don't know Citra like I do, Jason. She could have messed with your fucking mind and you wouldn't even be aware of it. She will do anything to get her precious ultimate warrior. Anything."

All of the fight drains out of Jason and he lets his head drop to Vaas' shoulder as tears blur his vision. Soft sobs wrack his body while the enormity of Citra's devious machinations weigh down on him. He doesn't want this.

 _A Slip of the Tongue_

He is at a complete loss on what to do with the crying and sobbing mess of a very decidedly female Jason Brody in his arms. All of his anger washes right out of him, because if anything Jason is certainly in complete control of…herself. Even though he has an underlying doubt that Citra could have possibly tampered with Jason, this reaction from her quickly chips away at the thought that she is complicit. Now if he can only get her to stop crying. "Goddamnit, Jason, don't cry." He softens his voice to a gentle croon which does nothing to soothe Jason.

He should have realized how fragile Jason's mental state would be, and in hindsight he can see how much of an ass he was. Admitting it now and possibly apologizing for it isn't going to help. There's been too much enmity between them for Jason to likely accept an apology of any kind from him. He can work all of that out later though, because getting out of the jungle is top priority right now.

Several minutes of careful trekking sees them safely out of the jungle. Thankfully his men are smart enough to have brought the vehicles around and they're patiently waiting for him. They all shoot him questioning looks, as well as openly leer at Jason and he knows there's gonna be a problem on his hands if he doesn't nip it in the bud right now.

"I managed to find some clothes, Boss, but we don't keep any blankets with us." One of them jogs over to him with a couple shirts and cargoes in hand, a set of clothes for each of them. Smart kid.

"Just toss them down." A bit of grass wasn't going to hurt the clothes any. "All of you fuckers scram, and leave me the goddamn Technical!" He barks the orders out with a glare, which is easy enough with the looks they're giving Jason. "And keep your goddamn mouths shut about this chica. She is mine!"

They thankfully pile into the Scavenger and leave within a matter of minutes. There's some sourness in their attitudes, like they had thought they'd get a chance to play with Jason. As fucking if. He would have to make an announcement back at camp.

"C'mon, Jason. Let's get you into some dry clothes." He sets her down and tries to step away from her so he can pick up the clothes but Jason adamantly clings to him. Shoving down the urge to be rough and cruel, he gently pries the material of his tank top from her grasp. "Jason, look at me." It takes a few seconds for her to comply, her striking green eyes laden with tears as she stares up at him, her expression wavering between pain and grief. "I… I know an apology won't fix any of this… I'm sorry, though, for what I said. My sister is really messed up in the head, always has been."

Anger twists through those soft, pretty features at the mention of Citra and the color of Jason's eyes sharpens, a more poisonous look to the shade of her irises. "I want to kill her," she hisses it out, tears streaking down her cheeks. There's determination and fire in her gaze, her shoulders set and her stance strengthened. "Even if it means I have to be stuck like this for the rest of my goddamn life, I am killing her."

Citra, in her rashness and desire for the ultimate warrior, had signed her own death warrant. Even though the Tatau was truly gone from Jason's arm, Vaas has a feeling that she is still an incredibly capable killer. "She probably can change you back, but she won't."

"That was one of the first things I realized." Jason's tone drops and she looks away from him while her cheeks color slightly. "Me and my goddamn mouth."

Vaas is finally able to get a good look at Jason in the moonlight as she pulls away. The height Jason had as a male is greatly diminished with the female body, making her shorter than Vaas. Her hair is long, falling to her waist, and the water-logged tresses look dark brown right now, but Vaas is certain it will be the same light brown as before once it's dry. Her skin is paler than before, fitting better with the Snow White moniker she seemed attached to, especially in the moonlight. Her breasts are small, the one having perfectly fit into his cupped hand earlier, and though she has a small waist her hips are wide. Wide enough that… Christ, he can't think about that. He shouldn't, but the thought is there. Citra and her damn incessant need for her precious ultimate warrior.

"Lo hecho está hecho," Jason mutters under her breath, snapping him out of thoughts that so should not exist right now. _What is done is done._ It would have been easy enough to have said in English, but the Spanish leaving those lips kind of surprises him. A stilted laugh leaves Jason and she suddenly grins in an eerie manner as she looks back to him. "Loba. That'll be the name I'll use."

She-wolf. Something that invokes an essence of predatory danger. It's a hell of a lot better and fiercer than Snow White. Christ, he can even picture Jason clad in animal furs and splattered in blood. Fuck, the mental image is hot. He needs to stop thinking about that. Really, truly needs to stop thinking about that. Clothes! "You should get dressed, Jason." God, his voice sounds strained.

"Right." She moves and picks up a set of the clothes they'd been given, frowning as she unrolled the tank top and held it up against her body. It's several sizes too big. The cargoes prove to be the same, and both garments are pushed into his arms. "This is a fucking joke," she grumbles when the other set of clothes prove to be several sizes too big as well. Still, she slides the boxers off without any warning or care that he's there watching her and pulls the cargoes on. Next she tears off a strip from the bottom of the tank top and makes a damn belt out of it to keep the cargoes from slipping down too much. A smaller part of that same strip is torn off and she uses that to rig the tank top as well so it fits her better when she puts it on.

She turns her attention back to him now that she's sufficiently clothed, and it hasn't helped with the mental images or thoughts too much. He needs something else to serve as a distraction. "So, er, why Loba?" He's certain she won't run, she hasn't made another move to do so, and she's simply gone to watching him. Dropping the dry clothes to the ground, he peels his wet tank top off and chucks it at the Technical.

"It's short, sounds better than Snow White and then there's how a female wolf behaves. The males are comparatively laid back, using threats and bluffs to assert themselves. The females, however, draw blood in their bid for the position of Alpha." Jason folds her arms over her chest, the material of the tank top awkwardly bunching, her brows raising slightly as she looks him over. "Well damn, at least you're hot."

It takes several seconds for them to register that and Jason puts a hand over her mouth with a groan. Vaas finds himself grinning slightly, because if anything it still strokes his pride and ego that Jason Brody finds him attractive. Considering the remark she'd made to land her in this mess, it is obvious that some part of the American desires him to some degree. Dangerous as that may be with Citra's ill intentions looming over them like a storm cloud. This is going to be impossible. "You like what you see?" He grins at her, unable to resist the opportunity to tease, and is rewarded with Jason both blushing and glaring.

"I'm going to go mourn my dignity and self-respect in the car since denial is no longer an option." She turns away just in time to miss him sliding his cargoes down and rigidly walks over to the Technical. She climbs into the passenger seat and refuses to look in his direction.

His fun ruined, Vaas gets dressed in the dry set of clothes and debates on putting his boots back on. He knows that shit can get nasty with wet feet and shoes, so he chucks those into the back of the Technical with his wet clothes. It's been a while since he's gone barefoot. He climbs into the driver side and settles in the seat while Jason astutely looks away from him, her cheeks still stained with a blush. "If it helps any you're incredibly sexy."

"No, it doesn't help at all," Jason grumbles and sinks down into her seat. "And I doubt your men will be able to keep their hands to themselves."

He suspects as much as well, so he pauses in starting up the Technical to untangle his jade pendant necklace from the few other necklaces around his neck. "Take this." All of his men know this necklace, so if Jason wears it, it might help deter the smarter ones working for him.

Jason looks at the necklace then blinks and looks at him. "And do what? Wear it?"

"Yes, wear it. The smarter ones won't bother you, and you can do whatever you want to the ones that do try something." He's almost ready to put it on her his damn self when she carefully takes it from him and slips it on. Once her hair is pulled out from under the leather thong and it's settled around her neck the pendant has dropped down under the tank top to lay between her breasts. "You can shorten the cord."

She does so effortlessly and now the pendant is visible. "Guess I really only have to worry about you then."

What?


	2. Loba

Jason huffs at the confused expression he's given. Is Vaas really going to be this obtuse? "I literally have nowhere to go, Vaas, except with you. There's mutual fucking attraction between us, and it'd be stupid to say or think that neither of us will crack." Sticking his head in the sand at this point is impossible. "Que será será, Vaas." Warmth still lingers in his cheeks from his blushing and he finally looks away from the pirate lord after a moment. At least he's stopped crying.

"Even if it-"

"I'd rather not think about that right now," Jason interrupts, knowing full well what Vaas is getting at. He does not want to revisit that line of thought right now. "What about my little brother and friends?" He gives Vaas a sideways glance to take in his expression.

Vaas is frowning and looks almost torn. "I can't help you there. Hoyt would have my fucking head if I let them go free after everything you've done."

"Then I'll deal with him when it comes down to it. That is non-fucking-negotiable, Vaas, especially since I can probably retake those outposts and radio towers for you." He will get something out of all of this, even if it's only seeing his brother and friends to safety.

"You're going to get the both of us killed! Hoyt won't care about the fucking outposts or towers if he loses out on that much money!" Vaas' frustration over the matter is evident, and his loyalties or whatever he has towards Hoyt are only going to be a problem.

"I really don't care, now are we going somewhere?" Jason ignores the glare he's given and the muttered curses as Vaas roughly twists the key in the ignition. The engine sputters a few times before it rumbles to life. The Technical lurches forward and he's suddenly afraid that the car is going to flip as they execute a sharp u-turn. They don't, but it doesn't lessen his fear any.

Where Liza had been rather cautious in her driving during their getaway from the Pirates Vaas is the complete opposite. He drives with reckless abandon, swerving the Technical onto the shoddy dirt lane once they came upon it and just about weaved all over the roadway, which is saying something considering how bad some people drive back in California. Vaas could definitely give them a run for their money.

There was a bridge up ahead, and at the rate Vaas was going he was certain they'd end up back in the river, with the crocodiles. "Stop!" The shriek is quickly followed by a screech of the tires and Vaas turns to face him, a scowl on his face. "Let me drive," Jason says after he is certain his heart isn't in his throat.

"There is nothing wrong with my driving skills." Vaas glowers at him now, having obviously picked up on Jason's implication that his driving skills were shit.

"Certainly not, but I would feel better if I were driving at this point." Jason gives Vaas a tight smile and hopes that Vaas will just agree to let him drive.

"Do you even know where we're going?" Vaas arches a brow at him, and the question temporarily throws Jason for a loop.

"I would hope it isn't to an early death," he retorts after a few seconds of thinking. "And you haven't mentioned where we're going, but I'm going to assume we're heading to one of the outposts on the eastern half of the island, considering it's still under your control."

"An ear- I'll have you know it's been… Fuck. Fine. You can drive." Vaas gets out of the driver's seat and walks around the front of the vehicle.

Jason thankfully slides over into the driver's seat and scowls upon finding that he can't reach the pedals. With a frustrated grunt he adjusts the seat and mutters to himself about the severe loss in height.

"You okay over there, chica?" Vaas questions as he takes the vacated passenger seat. "You look angry." It's said in the same tone he had used at the Port Island Hotel right before he had tried to roast Jason and Liza alive.

"You try losing around ten inches in height and then see how you feel. You'd be fucking angry too." Jason's tone has gone back to acerbic, his eyes narrowing as he turns to look at the road. He can just barely see over the steering wheel. "Not to mention the whole authentic fucking sex change that transgenders would probably kill to have, and how much it fucking hurt. Angry is a tame description for what I'm currently feeling. Words cannot fucking describe it." His blood felt like it was boiling, but he couldn't drive like this. He had to force the anger down, focus it on his current target for blatant murder. Citra.

Vaas is thankfully silent, so Jason takes a deep calming breath to clear his mind and on the exhale he puts the Technical into drive. "Where are we going?" He has a vague idea of where they are, some ways east of Citra's temple. Hubris Farm, still under pirate control, is the closest, but he doesn't want to be that close to Citra.

"Closest outpost for the night. We have to head to a place on the western part of the island tomorrow so I can pick some shit up." Which meant that they would have to drive by a lot of Rakyat, considering Jason had cleared out nearly every outpost on the western half of the North Island. Or maybe they could take a boat there, depending on where it was on the whole of the western half of the island. Still, Hubris Farm…

"Closest outpost it is," Jason mutters under his breath. He'll deal with it because it's only for a night. Tamping down his reluctance he depresses the accelerator and off they go at a marginally safer speed than what Vaas had been doing. They cross over the bridge and the night-darkened scenery passes them by. "So what possessed you to come all the way to this part of the island?"

"Well, seeing as you didn't die my reason for coming to _this_ part of the island has been invalidated." There's a certain amount of terseness in Vaas' tone, and a quick side glance reveals that the pirate lord is staring at him. "Lucky me you crossed my path when you did. You saved me from embarrassing myself."

Right. Lucky Vaas. "Let me guess, you were going to rub killing me in **her** face. She wouldn't have cared all too much, to be honest, especially since she didn't give me that fucking ink, for your information." He focuses back on the road , so that he doesn't cause an accident after chastising Vaas for his driving skills, and ignores the flash of intrigue on the pirate lord's face.

"Okay, then who gave you the ink?" Vaas shifts in his peripheral, leaning forward in his seat while still staring at him. God, he's so distracting.

"Dennis," he snaps the name out, bitterness in his tone as he recalls awakening to having a fucking tattoo being put onto his arm. "But considering his connection to _Citra_ , she was an indirect influence." Maybe, he didn't know. Hubris Farm is fast approaching so he slows the Technical down. "Doesn't make it okay to drag someone out of the fucking ocean and put a goddamn tattoo that promises power and shit on them while they're fucking unconscious."

Vaas makes an indecipherable noise then shifts to lean back against the seat. "At least you're free of Citra's Tatau."

"You make it sound like having it was a bad thing." Jason brings the Technical to a halt beside the would-be notice board and kills the engine. He slumps in the seat, head turning so he can focus his attention on Vaas now. "Though I'll admit it feels…good to not have it." It wasn't the fact that it was literally forced on him. It actually felt like something had been lifted off of him and he hadn't even noticed it until now.

"Her Tatau is a crutch. It's a manipulation of the mind, and something by which she can control you. It requires consent and acceptance for it to wholly work." Vaas glances at him then motions for them to get out of the vehicle.

Jason reluctantly climbs out of the driver's seat and is immediately aware of the pair of Assaulters heading their way. His very first instinct is to duck behind the car and make for cover, but that urge is quickly quashed. The next best thing is to go around the Technical and stay as close to Vaas as possible. He does so, but when the pirate lord unexpectedly wraps an arm around his waist and pulls him close he lets out a noise akin to a squeak.

"What the hell was that, chica?" Vaas gives him a somewhat amused glance then urges them into the open space of the outpost. The Assaulters thankfully stop their advance once they realize that their boss is one of the people entering their camp.

"Do you have to touch me?" Jason hisses out softly, his gaze warily lingering on the Assaulters giving him curious looks.

"Well it's either this or I end up beating the shit out of my men for trying to touch you. If you have a better idea then by all means go ahead with it." Vaas loosens the hold he has on Jason's waist, giving him a chance to pull away from the pirate lord.

"This is fine." It's not like the pirates working under Vaas know who he is, and with the few lecherous looks he's received thus far having Vaas touch him is a hell of a lot better compared to the alternative.

They pass by the Assaulters without a word exchanged between either group, the Chargers and Snipers don't even bother with approaching. They merely give nods of acknowledgement and continue on with their duties.

Vaas has since retightened his arm around his waist and ushers them toward the downtrodden concrete building that constitutes as a safe house. Once they're inside Vaas lets go of him and locks the door behind them. "If you have to go out or something just let me know, even if you have to wake me up."

Jason gives a shallow nod, though it's unlikely he'll need to go out before morning comes. His stomach feels like it's in knots, there's certainly no urge to go to the bathroom and he has no plans on trying to escape. Escaping would be senseless, stupid and an utter waste of time. Turning to survey the cramped space of the safe house, he notes that there is only one bed that looks like it will barely fit the both of them.

Vaas brushes past him and heads directly for the bed, much to his horror. The pirate lord drops down onto the bed and stretches out across the length of it for a long moment. Once he's finished with that he rolls onto his side, facing Jason, and pats the scant open space in way of invitation. "I'd like to get some fucking sleep while we're here, Jason, so get your ass over here."

He gives a weary sigh and walks over to the bed, each step weighing down on him like his fate has been sealed. Knowing it's stupid to hesitate over this, because Vaas doesn't seem like the sort to sleep on the ground when there's a bed available, he eases down onto the bed beside his not-quite-willing ally. Stretching his body out next to Vaas' is harder, but he does it and lays on the edge of the bed.

 _A Slip of the Tongue_

Was she seriously going to be like this? It wasn't like he was going to bite, and he certainly wasn't going to feel her up, again. "Jason, you need to move closer to me otherwise you are going to have a hard time sleeping. I am not going to put up with any cranky bullshit from you in the morning, you hear me?"

Jason visibly stiffens and seems to contemplate his demand before a rather exaggerated sigh, in his opinion, leaves her. She scoots closer to him, though it seems like she's doing her best to maintain some form of distance from him if the scant few inches left between them is any indication.

He eyes her for all of a few seconds then drops his arm over her waist and drags her those final few inches closer. Jason is completely rigid against him, and he knows why but he really doesn't give a fuck. "You'll thank me in the morning, chica."

Jason gives him the equivalent of the evil eye, her irises several shades darker, but she wisely doesn't complain. After a long moment she relaxes against him and has apparently decided to look anywhere but at his face. That's fine with him.

He doesn't remember falling asleep, but he wakes up to an incredibly memorable position. He is flat on his back with Jason partially draped on him and sound asleep. She has a leg hooked around one of his and an arm slung across his chest. He had never imagined the American to be a sleep cuddler, if how she had been acting last night was anything to go on, but then again he never really let himself think about the product that came through his island.

With nothing else to do Vaas studies Jason as she sleeps. In sleep she looks so innocent, her features soft and decidedly deceptive. Nobody would ever peg her for the killer that she truly is. He knew better, at least.

She starts to stir after a few minutes, her lips pressing together as she frowns and her eyebrows furrow just the tiniest bit. He can tell that she is trying to make sense of the situation before her eyes even open, and when they do there's fear and blatant embarrassment on her face. Jason peels herself off of him and can't seem to scramble off of the bed fast enough. It is solely due to the fact that she has a leg hooked around his that makes the endeavor somewhat unsuccessful, and sends her to the floor with a yelp.

Vaas scoots to the now unoccupied part of the bed and peers down at Jason with a raised brow. She's staring up at him, her eyes huge and doe-like, while a blush pinks her cheeks. "You okay down there?" He asks sincerely, making a conscious effort to not be an ass right now.

 _A Slip of the Tongue_

Jason is well and truly embarrassed by the position he'd found himself in upon waking. The fall to the floor really didn't hurt, and as he stared up at Vaas, who seemed oddly and unexpectedly concerned, he can only blink. His voice feels like it is caught in his throat, or is it his heart that feels like that? "I-"His attempt to speak fails horribly, and he's forced to swallow in an attempt to alleviate the sensation. "I'm fine," he rasps out and slowly stands up.

Vaas gives him a look that says he doesn't believe Jason, but he isn't going to press any further at the moment. The pirate lord slides off of the bed and stretches in a manner that has his back popping, effectively making Jason cringe.

"That's not good for your back," he comments without even thinking.

Vaas pauses mid-stretch to stare at him, a brow quirked upwards. "You a doctor now too?"

Jason huffs and turns away from Vaas, his arms crossing defensively over his chest. "Fine, get osteoarthritis. Not like I should care about your health anyways." When he's met with only silence in return he's half tempted to turn around to find out what Vaas is doing. Instead he uncrosses his arms and heads for the door. He has the handle in his grasp and starts to pull it open when it's pushed shut. He's suddenly very conscious of Vaas' presence directly behind him, the faint whisper of cloth against cloth and the slightest pressure against his backside as the pirate lord holds the door closed with a hand placed high up on the door.

"Turn around, Jason," Vaas demands in a low rumble.

He has nowhere to go, his only escape route effectively shut up, and angering Vaas is out of the question. Jason turns around promptly and flattens his back against the door to put a scant inch or two between himself and Vaas. It doesn't work, because Vaas leans in even further and touches their foreheads together.

"It is too early in the morning for me to have to beat my men into a pulp just because you want to storm away from me in a huff. Get your shit together or you will not like the consequences I come up with." Vaas stares him dead in the eyes as he speaks, his tone holding a dangerous edge to it that sends shivers up his spine. "A lot of them fuckers, especially the ones stationed in the outposts, are dumber than a box of rocks."

Jason swallows, the action making him hyper aware of the pendant hanging from his neck. The small trinket is supposed to be a sign of Vaas' claim on him, but if the majority of his men were too dumb to understand even that then what is the point in wearing it? He decides against voicing the question and just mutely nods, which apparently appeases Vaas enough into backing up.

"Good, then let's go outside and get a bite to eat before we have to head out." Vaas gives him his usual manic smile and motions for him to open the door.

 _A Slip of the Tongue_

Breakfast is a thankfully simple affair, some fresh fruit consisting of mostly mangos and maybe papaya, and some fish from the ocean. Vaas watches as Jason tears into her meal with barely constrained gusto, as she had apparently not eaten since before her change in gender. She isn't paying attention to the men stationed at the outpost, but he's well aware of the furtive glances and outright stares from his men. It annoys him to no end.

He finishes his meal much quicker than Jason does and stands up, his gaze roaming away from the petite female to settle on one of the men eying her in a manner that is most certainly lewd. He clears his throat, drawing everyone's attention to him, and absently notes the pause that Jason gives just as she starts tearing into her third mango. "All right, listen up you fucks, 'cause I am not going to repeat myself. This chica right here, eating the wonderful fish and fruit you fuckers so thoughtfully provided for breakfast, is mine. Her name is Loba, and if any of you so much as think about having any sort of fun with her I will personally cut your dick off and make you eat it."

Jason stares at him for all of a few seconds then goes back to her meal without a care. The pirates stare at him a bit longer, to which he scowls and feigns grabbing his gun. This has them quickly looking away and returning to their posts.

He directs his gaze back to Jason, who leans back where she's seated with an air of contentment about her now that she has fully sated her hunger. It is a look that suits her and there's a brief urge of wanting to be the one that is the reason for her contentment. He immediately chalks that up to whatever magic his sister has wrought, even though he knows his attraction to Jason is incredibly real. The Southern Californian had already gained his intrigue, especially since she had managed to stay alive where others clearly failed to do so. His thoughts briefly flicker to Mintz-Plasse, who had very nearly passed, only to die in the end. He really would have let McLovin go, had he not succumbed to the totures he had wrought upon the celebrity.

"So where are we going and what are we picking up?" Jason's sudden question sharply pulls him from his flights and he sees the barely concealed interest in her face.

"We're gonna visit one of our local suppliers and pick up the latest batch of product." Vaas watches her closely and if he isn't mistaken there is a vague look of sudden realization dawning on Jason's face. How curious.

"O-oh? Anyone important?" Jason isn't fooling him, not in the slightest.

"Dr. Earnhardt." Vaas watches as Jason pales slightly, her eyes widening just a fraction and betraying the fact that she knows the good doctor. Just what is she hiding?


End file.
